Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
