Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
