All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
