who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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