Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize