they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize