they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
