he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize