i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
