the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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