my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
