So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
