I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
