now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
