I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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