I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
