Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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