Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
