I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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