Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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