i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
