yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
