It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
