I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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