Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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