idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize