OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just google imaged poop.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
