My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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