apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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