I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
