He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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