whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dear god my vagina.
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