I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drunk is not a location!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
