You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
