Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
