I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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