R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize