How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
