i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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