U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
