GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
