Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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