I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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