I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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