My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
