he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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