dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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