check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
