Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
