i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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