so explain again why im purple
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
3 2 1 whiskey