Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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