Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize