this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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