she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize