Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
