11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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