If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
